


Melody of the Nocturne

by NanakiBH



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Heart-to-Heart, M/M, Melodrama, Recovered Memories, Self-Reflection, Speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-16 02:04:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19308412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanakiBH/pseuds/NanakiBH
Summary: He wasn't, like, selling his soul to the devil, right?





	Melody of the Nocturne

**Author's Note:**

> Xigbar isn't in this fic, but there are strong hints of xigdem/momxu. I couldn't figure out how else to tag this, so I'm letting you know. lol
> 
> I haven't been able to get this idea out of my head, so I decided to write it. Basically, assuming that Demyx doesn't have his memories, and assuming that he's the Master of Masters' Nobody... I want them to talk to each other before recompletion. Sort of like how a Persona-user confronts their Shadow before it transforms into a Persona.

“Where is this?”

Demyx stepped forward into the unknown place.

In the distance, he heard the echo of waves. For as far as the eye could see, there was nothing but darkness. Under his feet, a floor of stained glass was illuminated, wet, as if it had just rained. Shining stars surrounded the faceless figure in black at the center of its design, and around him were six emblems. There was something familiar about them.

As he looked at the image of the hooded figure, as the distant sound of waves drew nearer, becoming a roar that drowned out the sound of his voice in his head, he felt something coming back to him.

 

“Is that... Me?”

 

It felt like there was something calling to him – the thing that brought him there in the first place. It was on the tip of his tongue. When he looked at the six emblems that surrounded the figure, he felt a profound feeling welling up inside of him. He knew just by looking at them that they were special.

 

They had names.

He knew their names even if he couldn't remember what they were. He knew that he knew.

 

He looked around, but his sight couldn't pierce through the impenetrable darkness. It felt like he was dreaming with his eyes open.

 

“Hello?” he called out, hoping for the darkness to answer him.

 

From the space five steps ahead, a man in black stepped forward as if he'd been there the whole time, unnoticed. With his hands clasped behind his back, he stood in front of Demyx. At that distance, Demyx thought he should have been able to see his face, but he couldn't make out the features hidden underneath the shadow of his hood. There was just a smile, friendly if not mischievous.

“After all this time... Reunited at last.”

“Uh... Pretty sure this is the first time we've met,” Demyx said cautiously, unsure of whether he should even be cautious. “Do I know you?”

His question seemed to give the hooded figure pause. He didn't know what he was expecting, but he was surprised when the man started laughing heartily.

“Sorry! How impolite of me. It's just, I've been waiting here for like a thousand years, y'know? I couldn't do much except sit around and wait. Life is kinda boring and uneventful inside a box. I was asleep until I heard your voice.”

 

Suddenly, Demyx remembered.

 

“This is... We're inside that box? _That_ one? The one Xiggy was looking for?”

“Nah. Technically, you're inside me right now. Or, uh...” He made a vague gesture with one of his hands. “You're inside your own heart. Same difference.”

Questions were piling up. Just when Demyx thought he was closer to understanding what was going on, more questions pushed him back to where he began. Even thinking about it seemed to be a futile effort. The person in front of him looked like a mystery.

Did he even have a face?

Was he even really there?

If he couldn't figure out the truth at the center of his situation, then it was pointless to try. He didn't have the means to find the answers; his knowledge was limited to what he could remember, and there wasn't much to speak of.

“How can I be inside my own heart? I don't have a heart. I'm a Nobody.” He laughed bitterly. “I might be stupid, but even I know that much.”

For a second, the man's mouth flattened into a line, momentarily showing dissatisfaction with his reply. That expression disappeared as if it had never been there, deftly replaced by an encouraging smile.

“Of course you have a heart! All Nobodies have a heart somewhere,” he said, reaching across the space between them to tap Demyx on the chest.

“You seem like you know things,” Demyx said, warily removing the man's hand from his chest. He could touch him, so at least he could confirm that he was really there and not just a figment of his imagination.

“Sure. I know a lot of things,” he said. He clasped his hands behind his back and rocked back and forth on his heels with kiddish excitement. “You're me, so, technically, you know a lot, too. You're smarter and stronger than you remember!”

 

He said that like it was supposed to be something exciting.

All it did was remind Demyx of how much he didn't know.

 

He got the feeling he was being made fun of.

 

He wanted to know what he didn't know. He was tired of pretending like he knew what was going on all the time. From the beginning, he didn't even know what he was doing in the Organization, and his reason for staying was tenuous. There was nothing tying him to them.

If he up and disappeared, no one would have cared.

They would have continued on, and the Demyx-shaped space where he'd been would have closed up without anyone's notice.

He was more of a nobody than any of them.

 

He couldn't laugh it off anymore.

 

Maybe the person in front of him really _was_ the real 'him'...

And maybe that person was a really incredible person...

 

But, even if he was--

 

“You're scared, huh?”

 

Demyx shook his head, uncertain.

“It's not like I don't want to be smart and strong – that sounds great 'n' all. I'm just...”

Even though he couldn't see the eyes that looked at him, he felt them looking right through him. He might not have had a heart to be seen, but when that person looked at him, it felt as though all of his deepest feelings were right on the surface.

“I think I'm more afraid of what I _won't_ have. I didn't like the Organization, but as long as I was with them, I was... _with_ them. Even if they all hated me, at least I wasn't alone. I know that remembering who I am won't change the fact that the Organization is gone now, but... I'm afraid of finding out that I have nothing else.”

It was ironic.

They were nothing but unpleasant. He never thought he'd find himself wishing for more time together with them. Even if they were awful.

“Jeez, don't call me out like that,” the man said, giving a grumpy huff, crossing his arms over his chest.

They really were the same, weren't they?

Demyx reluctantly began to accept that the person in front of him was his true other self. Even though he didn't share his memories, Demyx recognized his tactless attempt to brush off the heavy atmosphere as the way he would have also dealt with the situation. When things became serious, he didn't know any other way. It was kind of nice to see that they were both awkward in that way.

When his other self realized that his attitude wouldn't work on himself, his shoulders sagged and he let out a sigh.

“I can't say I don't understand how you feel,” he said, voice serious with a touch of wistfulness. “You're me, after all.”

Demyx had figured out why he was there. All he really wanted was to hear that it would be okay for them to join together, to know that the world would look brighter with the eyes of his other self. He just wanted some kind of reassurance, but he couldn't trust himself to give it. If the truth was unpleasant, he knew he'd lie.

His other self seemed like he was used to lying.

“I always wondered if there was anyone waiting for me,” Demyx said, staring blankly at his feet. “Everybody had somebody else, but I was always by myself. At least Xigbar... I liked him. I dunno why, but I always got the feeling I knew him somehow.”

But... They weren't friends. He just selfishly clung to him because he felt familiar.

Still, he felt like he was going to be disappointed if he was wrong about him.

 

No.

He would have been more than disappointed. That was how he really felt.

 

Xigbar was the only one he felt sure of. He didn't want them to just be strangers.

He didn't want him to leave.

 

“He won't leave.”

 

Demyx looked up, desperate for the glimmer of hope offered by those words. There was something very persuasive about him. Even though he'd been bracing for a lie, it was hard not to trust in his conviction. He sounded so sure.

“Luxu won't leave. He waited years just to meet you.”

 

That was the truth.

 

Demyx knew it was, because he felt something.

A real emotion. Memories.

 

Placing a hand over his chest, he closed his eyes and drifted into the darkness inside himself. The darkness was comforting. It surrounded him from the inside out, its presence like that of another person – someone he knew very well. It was a gentle darkness that had always been nearby, following him like his shadow.

“Luxu... Right. That's his name. It's no wonder I recognized him. He was someone really special, wasn't he?”

That was all he could say for sure. No matter how hard he searched within himself, he still couldn't grasp the memories that would have given shape to his vague, blurry recollections. Those memories were just out of reach, in the hands of his other self.

Just the sound of Xigbar's real name made him feel desperate for what he was lacking.

 

It made him wonder, if he forgot something that important, what else was he forgetting?

 

All that time, he knew that Xigbar was someone he recognized, but he never understood what made him feel that way. Even though he was drawn to him, they were like mismatched puzzle pieces; no matter which direction he turned himself, he was never able to fit together with him. As hard as he tried, all of his best efforts to connect with him failed. The two of them never became more than acquaintances. He wanted to be his friend, but, in the end, he felt foolish for even trying.

What kind of connection did they have?

If they really knew each other, why hadn't he been able to reach him?

 

If it weren't for what brought them together in the past, would they have been destined to pass each other by without a second glance?

 

He felt insufficient.

Xigbar was always okay on his own, so he didn't need someone like him – someone who had nothing to offer...

 

But, even if he couldn't remember what made him special, Xigbar must have been waiting for a reason. If he hadn't noticed him right under his nose, he was probably going to be really surprised. It was just a little thing, but the thought of his shocked expression made Demyx smile.

 

“Do you like him? I bet you like-like him~,” his other self sang, his cheeky grin making Demyx feel hot with embarrassment. “That figures. Luxu and I were always close. Well-- I don't know if I'd call us _friends_ , but... We understood the world in the same way. He stood by me. He was always valuable to me.”

Demyx narrowed his eyes.

As far as he was concerned, Xigbar was the Organization's most competent member. He couldn't imagine the sort of confidence he must have had in himself to be measuring the value of someone like him. Furthermore... He didn't want to think of him in those terms. Simply being acknowledged by him would have been enough to make him happy.

The energy around him was strange, but Demyx felt like he had to say something. He couldn't let himself be intimidated – by _himself_ , let alone. It was probably the last chance he had to voice the thoughts that were uniquely his.

“Hey, just checking, but-- You aren't some kind of bad guy, are you?”

His other self jolted in surprise, taken aback. “Huhhh? What gave you that impression?”

“Y-You're really suspicious!” Demyx said, gesturing at him with incredulity. He thought his point was self-evident. He knew he could be oblivious sometimes, but there was a limit. His other self _had_ to realize how strange he was. “I know there's no going back at this point, but I just gotta make sure you aren't a super villain or something, okay? If it turns out I'm another Xehanort-type, I don't have the energy for that. That's what we're not doing.”

“'Don't have the energy'?” his other self repeated. Even though Demyx couldn't see his eyes, he knew that he was being judged. “Hold on, there are a lot of problems with what you just said. 'Xehanort-type'? Excuse me? Don't compare me to him!”

“If you've been in a box for a thousand years, how do you even know who that is...”

“Reasons.”

Demyx slapped his knee and pointed an accusing finger at him. “See! You're suspicious!”

 

He paused.

Then he yelled, very loudly, 

 

“You've been in here for _a thousand years?!_ ”

 

“Bit of a delayed reaction, huh,” his other self mused.

“Please just tell me we're not a bad guy... A thousand years trapped in a box sounds like the beginning of a story about an ancient evil. I just want to live peacefully...”

He posed, feet apart, hands on his hips. “Well, congratulations! We have that in common.” He gave a shrug and shook his head. “A villain? Don't make me laugh.”

“'Kay... A hero, then?” Demyx asked.

“I don't have the energy for that.”

Alright. It _was_ reassuring to hear that they shared the same humor. Still, Demyx felt like he hadn't heard a single answer. He seemed to have a talent for talking without actually saying anything. Demyx didn't doubt that he knew a lot, but he wasn't sharing what he knew... And that was troubling.

He thought about it for a bit, stroking his chin, tapping a foot, but no epiphanies came to him. All he knew was that he was smart (probably), strong (questionable), and very old (unfortunate).

An overly familiar arm snaked around his shoulders and pulled him close. “ _Truuuust_ me. I know what I'm doing.”

“Great, at least one of us does,” Demyx muttered. “You take the wheel.”

He received an exuberant thumbs-up. “Gladly! I'll take it from here!”

“Alright. That's fine. I just didn't want to be left on my own. As long as Xiggy will be there, that's all I care about.”

“I think he'd be really happy to hear you say that. If I told him, he'd probably think I was just pulling his leg.” Slowly, he removed the arm from around Demyx's shoulders, seeming to become strangely withdrawn. “You know, you've got more than just Luxu. Don't you remember the others?”

He tried to remember. Despite his feeling that there were people waiting for him, he wasn't aware of anyone else.

 

But he remembered them.

He knew their names. He was the one who gave them those names.

 

“How could I have forgotten them...?” He felt awful.

“You never forgot them. I always remembered. They're more important than anything.”

They were.

Even if his memory was still lacking, he remembered how important they were. There were people who loved him. They'd been waiting for him for a long time, desperate to see him again. They were precious to him, worth more than the world. And he'd left them...

Without his memories, he was still just an idiot, but he got the feeling that he'd learned something of immeasurable value by being alone – something that his confidence would have never let him learn. He didn't have to be smart to know what was right.

 

Was that what Vexen meant?

Atonement...

 

“I have to go. I have to apologize to them,” he said, grabbing and tugging the coat sleeve of his other self.

“Huh?”

He didn't move, so Demyx scowled and tugged more insistently.

“I-If you join with me, you'll understand.”

 

For the first time, he was able to see under the shadows. He could see everything in his eyes but not a trace of understanding.

For the one who held his heart and all of his memories, he was unusually empty.

 

“I'll show you,” Demyx said, clasping his hand.

“Yeah.” His eyes lingered on the hand firmly holding his. He smiled faintly. “I guess you will.”

Demyx took his other hand.

And slowly,

Gradually,

The gap in his memory was filled.


End file.
